Loss

I feel like a long-time friend once described- tumbled around like "I've just come out of the dryer."  My art-making has been at a standstill as I've been overwhelmed with trying to sort out my mom's health and financial needs.  She became abruptly confused and delusional in mid-May, and has not come back. Her need for constant supervision and care means an end to chapters in her life where she had once found meaning, and struggles for family to put new frameworks in place for her care and stability moving forward.

In the whirlwind of what must go- her art collection, her independence, her house, her recent memories- I reflect on what remains, and glimmers of new unexpected places where love and joy re-seed. She is charismatic and warm, as always. She loves art and music, and hearing about her grandchildren. She believes that she is once again running her art gallery or teaching school. She likes coconut cake quite a bit! My mom wants to go home, yet doesn't quite know where that might be... seems to fluctuate day-to-day, an amalgam of many places where she once lived and called home. Now I am struck with tenderness of both joy and sadness, in distilling values of what really counts in this life down to the immutable elements, what I see is Love and Joy and Peace. May my mom find this kind of home.

I think that I will paint these feelings and reflections, letting the canvas be whatever it needs to be. Maybe not something that ends up in a frame, or on a wall, but is nevertheless important. I thank my mom, along with many others, for affirming my calling as an artist. In her last house I found a book of my artwork in which I had inscribed "For my mom, with thanks for your appreciation, valuation, and affirmation of aesthetics." I also found paintings which she herself had done as a child, and one by my grand-father, and these I keep as deeply valuable in that inward way.

In these experiences, as losses pare away, the tender Joy which shines forth for me is the authenticity and importance of my calling as an artist. Something stirs more powerfully, more freely inside me to create, to do my purpose. I am grateful today to walk on, into my studio, warm up with gestural flashes, and develop works-in progress. I'm in the midst of completing a series of paintings of area streams which will be in a joint exhibit this fall, and to do this work, I myself need to be in the Current. I feel closer to this than ever. How Joyful, Loving, and Peaceful!

Painting Expedition to Rock Run

Alice Kelsey and Jeanne McKinney Painting at Rock Run

What a fine day! Yesterday, I went exploring and painting off the beaten path north of Williamsport. Fellow pastelist Jeanne McKinney, and I found a swift freestone stream, and painted on location throughout the day. My husband Tim helped out by 'testing the waters', flyfishing in pocket water and pools, as well as taking many spectacular photos of the stream, and the artists painting. Thanks, Tim!

I was struck by the tumbling, rumbling, rocky character of this stream, so different from the spring-fed limestone creeks near home. The water pounds over ledges, carves rock as it glides insistently, swirls kettles, and churns channels. The colors are remarkably different as well- pinkish, blueish rocks, and a glowing cool light green at the head of pools. We painted a run in the morning, and a junction pool (where a tributary enters) in the afternoon. Along the way to settling on these sites to paint, we saw a large waterfall (heard it pommeling down even before we could see it), and a little snake- great outdoors! The paintings which I brought home seem to have the colors, and feel of the current, and I'll work on them a bit in the studio as well to balance elements to a satisfying wholeness.

Demo Done!

I enjoyed sharing my artwork, and demonstrating the pastel medium during last weekend's 'Art in the Square' outdoor arts and crafts festival. Many thanks to Longwood Art Gallery for inviting me to do this demonstration!

It was an unusually chilly day, and I definitely felt in touch with the elements as I set my easel and pastels up on the sidewalk outside the gallery! My experience with outdoor painting, and appropriate gear and attire sure came in handy- I was grateful for my windproof pants, vest, and jacket, topped off with a ski cap. I sure hadn't expected to need all these layers in late April in Chester County! I enjoyed talking with passers-by about pastels, art in general, and my in-progress painting, and sense that people were excited about the beauty of the medium. In between talking with interesting people, and rubbing my hands to stay warm, I managed to nearly complete a pastel of a stream close to home. I also appreciated the kind and positive feedback from people about my work. All in all, it was a wonderful day, taking my art out in to the world!

Pastel Demonstration at Longwood Art Gallery

I've been invited to give a demonstration of pastel techniques at the Longwood Art Gallery this Saturday (4/28) at Kennett Square, PA! I'll be at the gallery from 11 am to 3 pm, with my plein air pastel equipment and a pastel painting in-progress. This event is part of the town's annual Art on the Square outdoor arts and crafts festival, and I'd enjoy talking with you if you have a chance to drop by. Twelve of my finished paintings are displayed in the gallery, and available for viewing and purchase. Hope to see you Saturday!

'Researching' and Painting

Gear for painting and 'research' (flyfishing)

I spent the day at the Little Juniata River today, for a combination of painting and flyfishing. Combining these two art forms actually does fit together nicely- having my waders on allowed me to get in to the middle of the river for a more pleasing composition to sketch one of the trestle bridges. And then some fish started to rise (come up to the surface of the water to eat hatching mayflies), so it was time for 'research', to put my paper down, pick up my rod, tie on a fly (which I made), and get out in the current. I had two fish on briefly (almost caught), and then things slowed down. Maybe I spooked the remaining fish, or maybe the hatch stopped, or something else changed that I can't figure out..... that's the way that it often goes with flyfishing, always a mystery to solve, and that's part of what I like so much about it. I also love the feel of casting itself, and am quite happy doing that even when I'm not catching anything! There's so much finess and feel- kind of like painting! Then I packed up, and moved to Spruce Creek to sketch the church.

The gear in the photo above (from left to right) includes a fly rod (in green case), fishing vest (beige), easel (wood), backpack for art supplies, and a box of pastels (Heilman backpacker size). Fine day! Tomorrow I work in the studio to finish pieces, and will post when ready (soon!)

Wonderful to Paint Outdoors!

Alice Kelsey painting at Spring Creek

With the sudden onrush of spring, I've taken off to paint outdoors, and it feels great! I love the feel of the elements- sun and wind and a touch of chill, and exploring on foot until I come upon places that speak to me. Right now, there's way too many to keep up with! I've been painting with a friend, and fellow artist Jeanne McKinney at area streams, and we've been out a dawn a few times to catch that special morning light and atmosphere. Even while searching for a motif, I saw many special things that I miss on an average day- a sliver of a moon beaming above darkness, a bald eagle, kindly people interested in art and flyfishing, a spring so forceful that it made bubbly rushing sounds underground about twenty yards before it emerged.. We also hiked in several miles to a remote mountain stream and old growth hemlock- a special place. I brought several 'starts' back to the studio, and am pleased to see the essence of these places in the images.

In Between (Seasons and Creating)

Alice Kelsey sketching crocuses (and cat watching)

I saw crocuses blooming right off our back porch yesterday, and was happy to see these bright, colorful harbingers of spring! I was eager to paint them, and yet couldn't quite put all of the elements together. Here's how it went.

It was rather cold, so I put on a bunch of layers, and started sketching. I saw luscious color, and wanted to try to 'get it', so I grabbed my pastel box, and started a pastel sketch. Then it started to snow heavily, getting the pastels all wet (which dissolves them), so I retreated indoors and waited until the squall left. I then layered on clothes and collected pastels again, and returned to painting outdoors. Next there were cat problems- our barn cat (see in upper left corner of photo) kept climbing all over me purring, and walking around obstructing my view of the crocuses. So I put the cat in the house! And then it started to snow heavily again! The more that I looked at the crocuses, the more that I saw a fantastic hard-to-name purpley-violet spiced with the aliveness of something growing..... and yet I couldn't find it in my pastels. And I admired the delicate forms of the plants, yet couldn't find a way to convey this with hands which felt cold and clumsy, and my focus scattered and dissipated in so many logistical challenges.

So right now I feel 'in-between'- an inspiration which fills me, yet I do not yet know how to put down on paper or canvas. I'll go out with the crocuses again today, and am thankful for the sun. And I'll put the cat in the house! And maybe I'll take oils to search for that color. I guess that there are these shifting times, stepping back and forth, in the natural world as well as creative process. I hope to continue growing!